I've had a lot of conversations with people outside my usual circle lately. Many have been pleasant and mutually beneficial, but a common theme seems to run through most of these discussions: a struggle with balance. Balancing wants vs. needs, political interests vs. faith values, family commitments vs. work expectations, and physical fitness vs. convenience can be exhausting for many. Is this why society seems to be on the irritable side of things?
I don’t know the answer to that, but I would like to offer a few suggestions to those reading this:
Listen to Understand: Just listen to the words, pauses, body language, and tone. It is such a gift to be fully listened to. Don’t worry about responding. Give the gift of being present and allowing someone to talk and express their feelings in a safe place.
Ask Sincerely: Ask how they are doing and mean it. If they don’t tell you more than “good” or “fine,” keep nudging. Ask about their health, family, or projects they are working on. It amazes me how many people just need this little nudge to let the floodgates open. Just make sure to nudge when you have time to hear what they have to say!
Give Some Grace: Negative emotions are not in short supply today. Some people are living on anger, so when they lash out or come across more emotional than you expected, give them some grace and possibly help them release some of that negativity with some humor or perspective.
It seems like every time I’m in the grocery store, I hear a customer say something to the cashier that I thought could be toned down a little. I always try to do my best asking and listening to those positions.
I came across this picture on LinkedIn today:
I would like to add the word “some” in front of the first two lines, but I also like it the way it is. It seems more powerful like this.
As leaders, not only do we struggle just like the ones we lead, and most of the time, we are carrying the burden of others. Therefore, we need more help ourselves but rarely receive it. I think that is just the cross we bear for being a leader. Right?
As a nation I think we need to strive for balance right now. It may not be possible, but we can all strive for balance and if we state it as the leader of our organization, the people we lead will probably follow. Let’s help our communities and nation start thinking about this concept as we head into an election that has already set new temperature levels and could use some efforts to lower that temperature so that we can all communicate with each other on a civil level.
As many of you come back from vacation this hot and stormy summer, keep these two pictures somewhere around your office. Think about them often. Check on a peer to understand, ask, and support. We need each other!
Find me if you need me,
John
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